LINKS
Jan 27, 2012
Evening Gossip Roundup.
Demi Moore and Rob Lowe had actual sex while filming About Last Night. There was however no butter involved. (CDAN)
I'll bet Kim Kardashian would drink Donkey splooge if you paid her enough. (Dlisted)
This is either Nicole Kidman or Helena Bonham Carter just bought herself a bottle of Born Blonde by Clairol Nice 'n Easy. (WWTDD)
Rihanna lost her mind. Along with all her bras. (Celebslam)
Want directions to Demi Moore's mansion? Here ya go. You're welcome burglers of Los Angeles. (IDLYITW)
Tila Tequila got new tits. Look, it was either link to Tila or another Demi Moore article. You don't like it - start your own gossip blog. Oh, fine be that way - I'm leaving. See you on Monday. Ingrates. (The Superficial)
Posted January 27, 2012 By Jason S.
Jan 27, 2012
Kimberly Wyatt Of Pussycat Dolls Is Not Very Rich.
Kimberly Wyatt was in The Pussycat Dolls which was really huge with that song Don'cha which insulted 99% of the women in the world. The only ones that weren't insulted by it- porn stars. Still the groups first CD sold 45 million copies and they were featured in movies like Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and toured nonstop for two years. You'd think that these women would be sleeping in beds of money like Demi Moore in Indecent Propasal but I think the band had the same shitty accountants that Nicolas Cage, Whitney Houston or Tyrell Owens must have had because these girl's didn't really make that much money at all. Kimberly (the hottest member of the group) has returned to the U.K. after trying to carve out a career in America and now can only afford to live in an apartment - that she's renting. She should just move in with me. She wouldn't even have to waste money on her own bed either. She could sleep in mine. Who says I'm not helpful when others are down on their luck?
From The Daily Mail:
"Despite the band’s success the sad thing is I’m not as rich as people think. My life is completely different since I left the Pussycat Dolls. After all that mad existence, it’s fair to say us girls are not really great friends and apart from one, we don’t really keep in touch, The fact is some people in the business made a lot of money out of us and, although I did all right, I’m not rolling in money."
It's not a surprise none of these girls are still talking to each other. When they performed at a venue a bunch of years ago the marquee outside said "Pussycat Dolls featuring Nicole Sherzinger." Kimberly took the mic at one point and told the crowd, "Thanks for coming to see us - even though we are not featured." I'll bet there was some screaming and pushing and real bitchiness going on backstage that night. Have you seen that movie The Commitments? Remember at the end when they're all backstage and they're all yelling and fighting and telling each other to go fuck themselves? I'll bet it was like that. But instead of fat, drunk, pale ugly Irish blokes it was hot, long haired, oily, fit girls in leather boots and skin tight latex outfits. Damn, why doesn't somebody make that movie?
Also, it just occurred to me that Kim's bra and shorts in the photo above is made of the same material as the workout pants I wear to the gym every day. I think that's the universe's way of saying that Kim and I should have sex. And you know what happens, Kim when you go against the universe? Bad things happen. Things like tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis - the Kardashians.
Jan 26, 2012
Evening Gossip Roundup.
Don't cry, Jennifer. Maybe Brad and Angie won't really get married. Nah, of course they will. (CDAN)
Pat Sajak and Vanna White were the original Lohans. (Dlisted)
Gisele Budchen is part of the 1%. (Celebslam) .....
....But at the rate Lindsay's being sued, that fried mess isn't. (The Superficial)
Vanessa Hudgens is topless again. She might as well appear in a Girls Gone Wild DVD. (WWTDD)
R.I.P Epstein. (TMZ)
Jan 26, 2012
Kim K@rd@shi@n Google Alerts Herself.
Kim K@rd@shi@n forgot to turn her phone off when she left a salon in Santa Monica yesterday confirming what 99% of the world already knows: Kim is such a narcissistic, fame slut of the highest order. With those attributes she should be running for President.
This photo isn't the clearest but you can make out "Google Alert - Kim K@rd@shi@n."
Now, you're probably wondering why I never typed out Kim's full name and decided to use a bunch of "@" symbols instead for this entire post. Google bots can't read Kim's name while that symbol is typed into it. Thus no alerts registering on Google. I can pretty much say anything I want about Kim now and she'll never know about it. Such as I heard there was this one time when Kim visited an orphanage wearing a pair of knee high leather boots that cost more than the building itself and she proceeded to smack every child in the face because they couldn't afford to buy any of Kim's shitty clothes from her Dash boutiques, and she had Rocco Di Spirito cook her a meal fit for a king which she ate a few bites of in front of the starving children and had the rest thrown out. Though she did pass out autographed photos of herself like that one time Paris Hilton visited poor kids in Bali. So Kim wasn't completely insensitive.
And Kim will never know I just wrote that. My god, I'm one brilliant bastard.
Jan 25, 2012
Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Kinky.
So Jennifer Love Hewitt posted this photo to her twitter account about 6 hours ago. I sometimes complain about so many celebrities always being fucked up to the point where gossip bloggers can't even keep up, but then you have boring celebrities like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Okay, she's boring on the surface but I heard that in private she's kinkier than Rihanna on a rubber fetish boat cruise. I'd love for her ex Jamie Kennedy to write another book detailing what Jennifer is really like. Then again, there might not be much excitement in that area. Look at her in the photo above. She looks bored stupid. I saw more sexual interest in the girl working the counter at the coffee place I went to this morning.
Still, there have been rumors that Jennifer likes sexy parties. She is said to have hosted a number of kinky parties for her friends. She also enlisted the help of ‘seduction expert’, Dana B.Myers, the co founder of the saucy store, Booty Parlour. Jennifer played a selection of naughty games before buying a few kinky accessories for her and the girls. Amongst the kinky gifts, Jennifer is said to have got herself some panties that vibrate and a bunch of bondage toys, including paddles.
This is also the same woman that decorated her vagina with jewels after she broke up with Jamie. It's a total conundrum to me. A woman this rich and kinky can't keep a boyfriend for longer than a few months? If she was really as wild as she makes out I don't think she'd be having so many breakups. Hell, this is a girl who released an album called Let's Go Bang.
Then again the fact that she can't keep a guy may have something to do with the fact that she once said this:
"My new thing is that I always take my bubble baths wearing a tiara...I am a grownup who bathes in a tiara. One that I got from Disneyland."
I'll bet that's the exact moment when all her boyfriends run from her house screaming for their freedom, too:
Jennifer: "Hon, I'm going to take a bath, Okay?"
Boyfriend: "Uh..okay."
Jennifer: "But first I need to find my tiara."
Boyfriend: "You're wha?"
Jennifer: "My tiara, silly. I wear it in the bathtub so I can feel all princess-y. Now you wait right there and when I'm done I'll fix you a nice supper and then make incredible, wild, passionate love to you."
Boyfriend: "Uh..sure."
Jennifer: "Don't you move, lover. I won't be long." Fills tub with water then slides in.
Jennifer: (singing to herself) "I'm so pretty, so pretty. So witty and pretty and.."
Hears front door slam - HARD.
Jennifer: "Aw, shit, there goes another one. Oh well. Now where did I put those vibrating panties?"
Jan 25, 2012
Evening Gossip Roundup.
Miley's warning to Liam: "Cheat on me and I'll Lorena Bobbitt your ass" (Dlisted)
Joan Rivers calls Chelsea Handler a drunk whore. (CDAN)
Demi Moore was just hoping somebody would remake Blue Velvet. (TMZ)
Rihanna grows more retarded every week. (Yeeeah)
"Saving all my love for you." just became "Save my money? Why should I do that?" (IDLYITW)
Newt Gingrich is the white Sherman Klump from The Nutty Professor while Mitt Romney looks like Mel Gibson. (CNN)
It's that Vienna Sausages chick in a bikini. (Celebslam)
Jan 25, 2012
Demi Moore Hospitalized Because Of Substance Abuse.
This is actually genuinely sad because Demi Moore was an addict in the 80's that showed up to the set of St. Elmo's Fire high all the time. Producers nearly fired her so in order to keep her job she got clean and remained clean. She even helped her friend Ally Sheedy battle through her addiction to sleeping pills a few years later in 1988.
Now in 2012, this past Monday night, Demi was rushed to an L.A. hospital after a call was placed to paramedics from her home. She was inspected for half an hour and then transported to a local hospital, where she still remains.
A source close to Demi issued this statement:
"Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health. She looks forward to getting well and is grateful for the support of her family and friends."
Meanwhile, Ash-Duh Kutcher was photographed partying his ass off while Demi was being transported to hospital. Idiot doesn't realize that people now carry cameras in their phones on them wherever they go. You'd think that someone who has investments in a bunch of tech companies would understand this. But we're talking about Ash-Duh here. He's so stupid he makes the car in Dude, Where's My Car look smart by comparison.
Also, here's a message to parents - If you're thinking of naming your newborn daughter Demi - it would probably be best not to do that. Between Demi Moore and Demi Lovato the likely outcome would be that when they're older they'll either date a skeeze that's either too young or too old for them. And whichever way it goes, it won't end well as they'll then become a substance abuser. Just my tip for the day.
Poor Demi is going to be swarmed by paparazzi when she emerges. That's the last thing she needs. She should shave her head G.I. Jane style again. Then when she's released everybody will assume Sinead O' Connor just went nuts again.
Jan 24, 2012
Your 2011 Oscar Nominations:
Martin Scorsese could film a 20 minute shot of ice cream melting in a bowl and it would still be nominated for a shitload of awards. And he'd most likely win too. Where were all these people when Raging Bull, The Last Temptation Of Christ, Goodfellas and Cape Fear were released? Four of the 20 best movies I've seen in my life? They weren't voting for Martin to win best director, I tell you that.
You can read the entire list of Oscar nominees here but these are the ones I'm happy with:
Moneyball, Hugo and Midnight In Paris for Best Picture.
Brad Pitt for Best Actor.
Max Von Sydow (Mr. Exorcist) for best supporting actor.
Michelle Williams for best actress - the first Dawson's Creek star to be nominated for an acting prize. Suck it Suri's mom.
Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids. 20 bucks says she wins too. I'll post my reasons why she'll win next month. Yes, I'm a tease.
Cinematography nom for Jeff Cronenweth for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This guy photographed Fight Fuckin' Club. He's due.
Directing noms for Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen and Terrence Malick. Three men that electrified cinema during the 70's. If they had nominated Steven Spielberg and Roman Polanski as well it would have been a celebration of masters. Spielberg has Lincoln next year. He'll get his then. Right now he can be content with his 4 billion dollar net worth fortune.
Editing nomination for Scorsese's longtime editor Thelma Schoonmaker. The best cutter in the industry. Besides Demi Lovato. Boom, pow, Zing!
Two Oscar noms for composer John Williams. This makes him the most nominated person in Oscar history with 50 nominations during his lifetime.Which will be 50 more than Lindsay Lohan will ever get.
Moneyball screenplay noms Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. Steven wrote Schindler's List and Aaron wrote Sports Night, The West Wing and The Social Network. He also told Sarah Palin to go fuck herself last year. For all those things he is my personal hero for life.
You can watch the Oscar broadcast on February 26, hosted by Billy Crystal. This will be the ninth time Billy has hosted. It'll be the first time however for his brand new face.
COPYRIGHT 2011 THE SHALLOW MINDED - OWNED, WRITTEN AND EDITED BY JASON S.
Some Matlock stuff: All images that appear on the site are copyright their respective owners and Theshallowminded claims no credit for them unless otherwise noted. If you own the rights to any of the images and do not wish them to appear on the site please contact me: jasons@theshallowminded.com, and they will be promptly removed!
