Remember 25 years ago when they made a Superman movie with Alan from Two And A Half Men in which he played some kind of 80's punk rock kid? I sh-t you not, they did indeed. It earned only $15.6 million in the United States and Canada and was such an insult to the mythology of the iconic character, it was almost 20 years before they made another Superman movie and that one was almost as bad because it was boring. No movie can afford to be boring but especially a Superman movie. Plus the lunk playing Superman didn't know how to act which is why you never see him anywhere anymore. Then again, Ashton Kutcher can't act either and he wont ever go away.
It took over 30 years but Warner Bros. has finally produced a Superman movie that looks amazing, and from all indications so far, it's going to galvanize viewers once it opens June 14th. Apparently the writers combined the first two Salkind Superman movies by incorporating the origin story of Kal-El, who was sent from Krypton before it destructs to Earth, where once he becomes Superman He battles General Zod and Ursa. I don't see any footage of Superman as Clark Kent wearing Liz Lemon glasses so I guess he doesn't develop into a reporter until Man Of Steel Two - in which instead of writing for a newspaper, he'll become a blogger and write about Justin Bieber because newspapers suck. Oh wait - did they just show a plane flying into a building? Holy sh-t they did. Wow. Imagine a movie showing that 10 years ago? There have three Iron Man and 4 Spider-Man movies but they never showed that, which means that Iron Man and Spider-Man are just whiny-ass hipster dorks. Yeah, I said it.
But all I can pretty much think about right now is how awesome it would be if Superman could fly down and rescue the psychotic lunatic you see in the two articles below.
Amanda Bynes was arrested in New York city last night and charged with marijuana possession. Willie Nelson - stay out of New York. Amanda's amazing night started when she was spotted in her hotel lobby smoking a joint, talking to herself and creeping everybody out. Apparently, a hotel staff member dialed the police to look into it, and when the police arrived to Amanda's room she let them in and that's when they spotted her lovely bong. Once Amanda realized her bong was in plain view, she flung it out her window, hoping she could trick the police into believing they were seeing imaginary bongs. 'Bong? What bong? There's no bong here. You're all seeing things. Are you feeling alright officers? Would you like to lie down on my filthy mattress on the floor?' Well, since tossing items out a window doesn't mean they transport into some kind of alternate universe, the bong was picked up on the street (which fortunately never sliced somebody's face open), and that's when police attempted to arrest Amanda, but she was having none of that because she immediately started screaming and even pulled a Reese Witherspoon shouting, "Don't you know who I am?" This was different from the night before, where she ordered an airline pilot to "Google" her when she was denied admittance to board a flight. I would have loved to be one of those officers last night as I would have responded, 'Yeah, I know exactly who you are. And that's exactly why you're coming with us, smarty girl. You won't need your ratty wig where you're going.' BOOM!
Before Amanda was taken to the police station for booking, she had a brief visit to the hospital where she had a psychiatric evaluation. Man, I'd love to read that report. After she was booked and had the lovely mug shot you see above taken (without her wig which makes her look like a very cranky Ellen), Amanda was taken before a night court judge who remanded her to a jail cell where she spent the night. This morning she was escorted to court (wearing wig), where she appeared before a judge and told him the alleged bong she tossed out the window was actually "Just a vase." I guess that was good enough for the judge because he let Amanda go, who after leaving the court drove off in a taxi. Oh - and she looked like this:
I have a feeling she's really not going to like us using this photo. Expect Twitter rant from Amanda about how this isn't her in 4...3...2...
If you were wondering if Amanda Bynes was still nuts I have the answer for you: YES - yes indeed she is!
From TMZ: Amanda Bynes was flat-out rejected from a private jet flight in Jersey this weekend ... after trying to use GOOGLE as a substitute for her government ID. Amanda is denying anything happened -- but sources at Teterboro Airport tell us, Bynes (wearing a velour jumpsuit and giant glasses) showed up at the private jet terminal on Sunday for a flight to L.A. According to sources, the pilot was checking passenger IDs -- it's a really small terminal -- and Bynes revealed her driver's license had been suspended ... and she had no other form of government ID. We're told the pilot informed Bynes she needed a form of government ID to fly -- per TSA regulations -- and she then ordered him to Google her as proof, screaming, "I'm Amanda Bynes!" The pilot called someone from the jet company to see if they could get some kind of exemption for her, but the jet rep was adamant ... no ID, no flight ... and that was that. The private jet company wouldn't comment for privacy reasons.
If your Amanda Bynes and you're trying to board an airplane without I.D. wouldn't telling people to Google you be the last thing you should do? CRAZY AMANDA BYNES! The One that's been documenting and tweeting about how she's been slowly going insane for the last 3 years. The Amanda Bynes that's been living in a filth-ridden New York apartment and scaring neighbors in her building. The Amanda Bynes that exercises like this. That Amanda Bynes!? I think Amanda would have had a better shot of boarding that private jet if she had a sign that read, "I have an EXPLOSIVE IED BOMB strapped across my stomach and I am SO going to activate it," hanging from her neck.